post #2

Two posts in a day! This is what happens when my afternoon lecture gets cancelled.

I've been thinking a lot recently about the concept of an individualist versus a collectivist culture. Simply put, America is much more individualist- achievements are personal, "me/alone time" is a legitimate need, and independence is generally desireable. In general, Jordanian culture is much more collectivist- the family is central, needing "alone time" must mean that something is wrong, and being part of the group is more desireable than venturing out alone. I think that I touched on this a while ago, but I am seeing increasingly how this culture is changing me. When I came to Jordan, I believed that sure, my individualist mentality was a partially a product of my culture, but that it was somehow just part of my innate personality as well. This idea was not really challenged during the fall semester since I was in an apartment, more or less living like I would in a big dorm back in the States. Moving in with a family this semester was a difficult adjustment. Not only did I miss the freedom and independence of apartment life, I resented the familial obligations and expectations (for a while I felt guilty about ever being alone in my bedroom unless I was actually sleeping). The daily mental to-do list actually included "spend time in the presence of host family."

I am happy to say that this is no longer the case. Over the past couple of months, I have become increasingly collectivist while attempting to fit into this culture. I willingly do my homework at the kitchen table (even though my room is quite pleasant now, temperature-wise) because it feels better to be around people. I look forward to those rare times when I get home early enough such that I can eat a late lunch together with my host sisters. My school friends and I joke about group co-dependency, but seriously, it's rare that we go places alone anymore (taking a taxi home alone yesterday felt downright strange). Why go book-hunting in Jabal Amman alone when you could wait for your friend's class to get out and then go together?

I wouldn't say that this change is a good or a bad thing in general. In this culture, it is positive. When I get back to America, my personality will probably just readjust and I'll regain at least some of the individualist tendencies that have been dulled here in Jordan. I find these changes interesting because it suggests that even parts of my personality that I thought were pretty innate are in fact relatively environmentally influenced.

That's all for now; I'll try to get at least one more post in in March. Yalla bye!